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Silent Chapters

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Month: November 2016

Alone?

I’m MORE !
More than fears
More than sickness
More than poverty

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Sometimes I Fly
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Sometimes I walk
Sometimes I crawl, all in the bid to keep moving

Living Intentionally

How does one live unintentionally?

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Again and Again… March 12, 2020
Bad days February 10, 2020
Don’t look Away January 18, 2020

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Again and Again! I had the privilege of catching up with old friends at a 40th birthday party recently. I wonder where time has gone, especially when your friends are clocking 40 left, right and center. Anyway, my immediate older brother is not 40 yet - do not kill my joy - I still get time😜. During our catch-up we touched various topics but as men we stretched issues around finances and business. We explored the possibility of partnerships and alliances. At that point one of my friends narrated the story of a man that had a striving career, saved up funds and decided to partner with a friend. As you might have guessed, the venture went south and he lost everything - I mean Everything! My friend added that this happened quite a while ago (maybe 15years) but the man is not back on his feet. I latched on the gist and asked - what was the state of his mind? Apparently he got into depression and never fully recovered. He did not just lose money he lost his Gusto and Mojo 🤕. We have often heard this line that it is faster to tear down than to build. But you know what I recently discovered? It is easier (not easy or fun) to BUILD again! If you have done it before, you can do it again and again. Failure is painful - very painful. Recovery is a roller coaster journey but very achievable. After recovery, you become a case study and specimen for Hope and Courage. If you did it once you can do it again and again, failure is an incident not your personality. Rise above it...it starts from your mind. Forward Ever! #depression #partnership #courage #Newopportunities #newbeginnings #recovery #hope #silentchapters #Friends #conversation

Bad days... I had a pressing financial need last week, I reached out to some “trusted” friends and family to possibly bail me out and lend me a hand. Unfortunately everyone seems to have one financial commitment or the other - this is not the gist. Yesterday, one of the people I reached out to called and we had a long conversation. As he was about to drop, he inquired if I was able to sort the need and I was like it is still open..blah blah. He advised on an alternative approach of meeting the need, he even volunteered to help, then he added - we all go through this season at one time or the other - it will soon be over. Fast forward to few hours later, I joined Nathaniel Bassey’s Halleluyah challenge. P.Nat briefly talked about depression and warned against comparing yourself with the “pseudo-Social media life”. Many of the things we see are facades, they are “packaged” lies. Silent chapters is the name of my blog, the aim is to share my vulnerabilities and showcase silent lessons from daily living and interactions. Today I have come to tell you that we all experience some bad days. Enjoy your Jollof rice and Chicken garnished with Dodo on your dinning table, do not be distracted with the Dinner date pictures posted by your friend on Instagram. Remember you do not know: - the date of the outing - the trigger of the outing - what happened post-outing Am I against Dinners at Exotic restaurants - NO! Infact I am a certified foodie, I can tell you the best joints in town, but there are nights I gladly eat my “Indomie” and boiled eggs. Not to forget the nights of Street Burger (bread and akara), better still the nights when you have no cash at all - I mean no Cash. A senior friend told me recently how she locked her Husband out because of financial pressure, she added “I am not proud of what I did, but it was a terrible season”. Did you note the word “was”? I replied and said we need to hear more of these, we need to know there is no “perfect” life, we need to see (though tough) the full package. I have a lot to write, but my point has been passed - we all experience some bad days. This too shall pass! Forward Ever…. #Broke #Baddays #depression #mentalhealth

Identical but Different Few weeks ago I had a little car crash, nothing serious but I lost my passenger side mirror. It took me about two (2) weeks to replace it, this is because I just moved to a new side of town and was not conversant with the area. Also it took a while for the new mirror to be delivered. Driving with one side mirror is not a pleasant experience for any driver, especially a defensive driver. I could not park at every bay as I didn't have 360 degrees view. Also I was conscious of law enforcement agents as I know it was not completely legal. You can imagine the relieve when the mirror was fixed. I look at my mirrors and this crossed my mind - "Identical, but different" Have you ever asked yourself: What do I have to offer? What is really special about me? Afterall everyone should be able to do this and that... To be sincere, Iife has been quite fair to me (mo ri anu gba) despite my unique challenges, but every now and then I fall into the temptation of thinking there is really nothing special about "me". Thoughts like - many people can do what you do, you are just "scaming" people with charisma. But my side mirror reminded me and 1001 people that will read this post that your place is different. There is a niche for you, when you are not present your seat on the table is empty. You may look like your siblings, twin, friends, colleagues or neighbour but there is something different about you. There is a flavour only you can add. Cheer up and celebrate your uniqueness this new week. Shine! Forward Ever... #identicaltwins #different #unique #confidence

Unlike many organisations I have worked for, Monday mornings were dreaded, it is usually a time to justify the previous week's "lapses", or perhaps get some accolades - that happens once in a blue moon. I remember some Monday meetings where I speak lots of "grammar" and my Boss will be nodding, alas he would say "let's talk after this meeting". Things are quite different in my current organisation, being a distributed team we spend a good part of our Monday meetings discovering ourselves via what we call question of the day! This week's question was about goals for 2020. One of the young lads in my team said he wants to build a saving habit, target is to save 10-20% of his income. I advised him to pick up some savings products, then I added - "How I wish I started saving early". One of my Senior colleague added, "Lanre, why do you sound as if you are 85 years old". That got me thinking...you may have lost some opportunities, made some mistakes, but friend...you have enough time to make amends. Do not wallow in regrets of lost opportunities while missing out on current opportunities. Every day has its blessing, ring it! Forget the errors and mistakes of yesterday, maximise the opportunities of today and look forward to the benefits of tomorrow. Make 2020 work! Forward Ever #silentchapters #doitnow #newyear #savings #opportunity #nevertoolate #TIA #daily

Don’t look Away How long do you want to keep running and ignoring reality. You are in a BIG mess! You are in trouble! Stop calling it another name! Stop trying to keep up with the Jonesses, pretending nothing is wrong … By the way - HAPPY NEW YEAR. I celebrated my birthday during the week, then it dawned on me I am leaving my “mid thirty” years. Yeeeeee! I will soon be 40! Luckily for me - please don’t spoil my joy - I have an older brother blocking the 40 line. On a serious note, it dawned on me that I am not getting younger and I must begin to live my dreams. All the things I saw from afar, the things I have read (and still reading) in books, the things I have prayed for - I must begin to work towards them like never before. But wait! I have some mess I have to clear first. Some of these are seemingly not my fault, but who cares, they are my monkey. I have issues I have swept under the carpet, that I chose to “look away” from. And I am sure there are 1001 people like me. Dear friend, don’t look away any more. Every problem has a solution, every issue can be solved. I encourage you to fight like never before this year. Fight for solutions, fight for resolutions, fight to clear your debts, fight to get that certification, fight for your children, reconcile with your father, fight obesity, fight high blood pressure, fight diabetes,fight for good health! Remember health is not just physical. I see you fight and overcome…please don’t look away! Forward Ever! #Year2020 #Focus #silentchapters #fight #fightforit #fitness #healthylifestyle #health #healing

🎵🎵🎵... Ope meta lemi o se (I will give three types of praises) Ope meta lemi o se (I will give three types of praises) Mo ru layo (I got pregnant) Mo so layo (I delivered safely) Mo tu romo gbejo (I can rock my baby) Ope meta lemi o se I will give three types of praises) ...🎵🎵🎵 This was the first chorus rendered during the last baby dedication in my church @thefountainoflifechurch . That was my first time of hearing the song and for some unknown reasons that song stuck with me – I have been replaying it in my mind since then. It is so easy to thank God for a good thing, better still, it is easy to be thankful for things and not be thoughtful enough to analyse those things. Analysing the good things will make you realise that every “good thing” or “miracle” is a bundle of “miracles”. The composer of the above song could have just said “mo dupe pe o fun mi lomo” i.e “Thank you Lord for giving me a child”. But the composer was thoughtful enough to break things down. I am thankful for having a good family I am thankful for provision for my family to send me to school I am thankful for my success in school I am thankful for a sound mind I am thankful for being able to write I am thankful for the idea to start a blog I am thankful for provision to pay power and internet bills I am thankful, thankful and thankful….. This is December, I know you have not met your 2019 targets, better still – you might not have met your 2019 targets (like me). Do not wallow in worry or self pity, there are 1001 things that have worked for you in 2019. Be thankful! If you do not have anything to be thankful for, please be thankful for the fact that …. YOU CAN READ THIS POST! Forward Ever! #thanksgiving #ijoope #ope #yoruba #tfolc #december #countyourblessingsandnotyourworries

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